“Do the work,” psychologically, on yourself, advises pretty much every listicle, advice piece or reply on reddit forums about recovering from breakups or re-entering the dating world. Rather, the language of therapists’ offices and self-help books have made it to first app matches, first dates and first hookups, alongside the broader societal conversations about consent and sexism.
No longer are the tactics of pickup artists or the drunken antics of Tucker Max an inspiration, at least for many people. It’s just that now we know an awful lot more about human relationships and communication. And the language, the way we understand dating and relationships has shifted. It’s not that this process is particularly new.